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The inspiration from this song came from when I was in a really dark place in my life. I had just went on a crazy crime spree all for the purpose of trying to earn some extra money to pay my bills. Some would say I went about it the wrong way. Others will say I did what I had to do with the resources I had at the time. None the less I was reaping what I had sown. While in that dark place, I had promised myself I would bounce back even stronger and give it my all to get through the battle.
Going into my teenage years, I developed a mindset thinking the whole world was against me. Maybe this came from racism or having my father jump in and out of my life or even being in numerous fights that had nothing to do with me. Regardless, I had become stuck in a mindset that caused me to live in my comfort zone rather than embracing my true strengths.
If you have ever felt betrayal from the people who were closest to you then you understand how hard it is to trust and let your guard down. This had become the norm for me. I think it held me back from a lot of positive opportunities.
I can remember one time, a well known local basketball coach had asked my mom to see if I wanted to join his basketball team. He saw me play basketball. When he saw me, he was impressed by my hustle alone. No, I didn’t have the skills yet but my hustle is what caught his eye. I can remember pulling up to the gym and I was about to go into the gym. In my head, I was absolutely terrified to get showed up by the other players. Also being laughed at was a big issue for me. I was so scared that I changed my mind and told my mom I didn’t want to do it. This is something I regret very much. Along with becoming a good basketball player, I gave up the chance to bond closer with other players.
What I’ve Come To Realize
Have you heard the saying Everything happens for a reason? The wiser I get, the more I can see this as an absolute truth. No, I didn’t go on to become some famous sports player. I sure as hell didn’t manage to make the right choices concerning the legal system. What I do realize is this: with everything I have been through in my life, it strengthened me in ways that have really helped me to connect with so many other people who go through the same struggles.
I know so many people in my life who struggle with anxiety and stress. I cannot totally say that I have cured my stress and anxiety. What I can say is that I have learned so many ways to cope with the stresses and anxiety that were developed from my insecurities. What I want you to understand is this: stress and anxiety normally comes from one main thing. You’re worried too much about the bad things that could happen.
There are two main things that have helped me to deal with my insecurities and my anxiety. The first thing is prayer. Some may call it meditation, others call it positive affirmations or whatever. It’s like you have a mindset that is telling you that you cannot achieve something. Along with you telling yourself that, your family and the people around you are telling you the exact same thing. This leads to total uncertainty.
The main thing that I am learning about life is that it’s a spiritual warfare. You have to keep reassuring yourself that it can be done when people are telling you that something cannot be done. Not everyone has the same vision. Sometimes there are things placed on your heart that probably shouldn’t be shared with anyone but you and your higher power. When you are bombarded with reasons why you cannot do something, it’s your job to speak life and positivity to yourself.
The second thing that has helped me to overcome my issues is education. That’s right. Educating yourself through reading and listening to people who have already been down the path you are going through is huge when it comes to being successful. Like they say, there is nothing new under the sun. Although it may seem like you are the only one going through your issue, trust me, there’s always a solution to whatever problem you’re trying to solve. This is how I’ve been able to stay out of trouble and stay on the path that I am on now. I set my mind to something and I absolutely give it my all.
Give It My All
Spark it.. Its ’bout time I step out of the darkness
For the longest, I been kinda livin’ heartless
My attitude was fuck it like Mr. Marcus
Now I’m still screamin’ fuck it but in another way
Staying positive and not carin’ what the gutter say
Crazy how they trippin’ now I’m goin’ the other way
They just mad and stuck on stupid, that’s what my mother say
But anyway, if you ain’t knowin’ I ain’t stoppin’
My stamina’s unlimited, I keep that pussy poppin’
Somethin’ compared to the energizer bunny
I keep going, going, and going like a paradise, I’m sunny
Families what I’m about.. Get cheddar like a mouse
Made mistakes, but I’m gettin’ better, that’s without a doubt
I was on a crash course but now I’m on another route
If you talk a lot of bull, keep my name out ya mouth
But I guess, if it makes you feel better keep talkin’ shit
Cause I’m gonna keep climbin’ on my Peter Parker shit
I show the Bulls what the mailman shoulda done
Cause now it ain’t about me, I do this for my little son
This is what it is
I’m just handlin’ my biz’
I been weatherin’ the storm since I was born
And Ima give this all my all
Cause it ain’t one drop of the word quit in my body
Too legit to quit, that’s my hobby
All I keep is kick like karate
And give this all my all